A Moment Alone

Life surely changes people. If I recall myself years back then, I was a very insecure child. I remembered I couldn't even get through just one day in kindergarden without crying because I was being bullied by the boys at kindergarden. Having to go to school was such a nightmare at that time, every morning I wished the school bus came late so I wouldn't have to meet the boys or at least the class already started so the boys couldn't tease me.

I'm not sure until now, whether it was my vulnerability that attracted bad boys to bully me at school or the bully that made me vulnerable. However the nightmare memory from childhood, really affected my self-esteem during my youth period. I was a very shy and introvert person. Even though I have some close friends, I didn't really open myself to them. I was afraid to speak in public and I spoke very softly that teachers barely couldn't hear. Another issue I noticed is I didn't like to be left alone, especially in new environment. Fortunately I have my twin sister almost in every activity, which avoiding me from being all alone, without realizing that I became dependent on her, only to make friends.

As a result, when we went to junior high school, my parents decided that the school should placed both of us in different classes and I struggled to make friends with people in my class, while my twin sister quickly had a clique from her class. I started to feel that I was left behind. Even though I managed to have few friends to hang out with, I wasn't really close with them. I felt lonely a lot during that period.

It was until I joined this one youth community, where my social life started getting better and better. I could say that the community changed me as a person. The activities involved in that community require the member to speak in public, share our thoughts and feelings to others and contribute our talents and creativity. Slowly, I gained more self-esteem and could open myself to others and engaged more with other people. 

However, the big changes from being solo into having a lot of friends, resulted in me becoming dependent with having friends or other people surrounded me. I still feel insecure being alone. I recalled that I didn't feel comfortable when I have to rent a room near my University as my campus is quite far from home. The insecurity aroused as I didn't know anybody in my building but I also didn't like being alone in my room, as I have no company. As a result, I tried my best to avoid staying too long in my room, either I spent my days in my friends' room in other building or went home. I guessed the childhood trauma was not completely gone.

As I grew older, I managed to find serenity by being alone. I realized I am no more afraid with the fact of being alone. Since I moved here in Copenhagen, I spent a lot of time being alone at home, but I don't feel insecure about it. In fact, I am quite enjoying my solo time, it's my time to reflect, to relax and to do things I wanna do. Thus I could proudly tell myself, yes I am alone, but I am not lonely :)

Cheers,

Indispensable Lady

Another Lesson Learned

This week I learned another important lesson: when in doubt, never assume. The story behind it is because on the same week three cases happened due to lack of information and wrong assumption.

First, on the day my husband came from business trip in Turkey, he told me that when he entered Denmark, the airport immigration officer reminded him that the visa sticker on his passport will be expired on May 10, which he didn't aware of until the officer mentioned about it. I've been aware of it since I arrived in Copenhagen last month, however when I asked the relocation agent whether we should extend it, she said your husband should have submitted some papers which will automatically extend the temporary visa. Afterwards I asked my husband, he said he couldn't remember, but he should have submitted every documents to the relocation agent. Well, then I ASSUMED everything had settled down.

Apparently, after confirmed once again to the agent, the documents should be submitted by ourselves to the Danish Immigration Office to apply for residence card before the expiry date, which is May 10. Otherwise we will be considered illegal staying in Denmark. My husband then checked documents on his office desk, and found the papers, which he should submit months ago. After found the paper, we went to the immigration office to submit the application for residence card. Thankfully, he was informed by the immigration officer, otherwise we will miss the deadline. I somehow believe it was God's way to avoid us from trouble :)

Then later on the afternoon after I came back from the immigration office, a guy from electricity company came by and asked to read the electricity meter, but I have no idea where the electricity meter is. A month ago, the apartment landlord met us to give the spare key and show us how to read the water, heater and electricity meter. However, he completely forgot how to read the electricity meter and he promised to contact us when he knew. We also tried to ask the previous tenant and they said they never read the electricity meter. After a month passed by, we heard no news from the landlord. Well we have tried to ask him about it once again and he said he would find out. We ASSUMED he would take care of it, until the electricity guy came and told us that we would be charged for extra fee as we didn't read the meter by ourselves and didn't pay the bill.

It's quite shocking as we never received any letter about the electricity bill and nor didn't get information from the landlord where the electricity meter is. Another problem is as the previous tenant never read the meter, the consumption up to the day must be included their consumption as well. We decided to contact the agent once again and asked her to help us solve the problem as we realized that this was not our fault and we wanted to make sure we only pay for our consumption only. Fortunately the agent is responsible enough to find the solution of the problem so we shouldn't burden the previous tenant consumption expenses and the landlord is willing to pay for the extra service fee.

The third case is regarding our mobile phone number. When I came a month ago, I bought a prepaid card for temporary use as we were waiting for the subscribed mobile phone number ordered from my husband office. A month passed by and we didn't receive any sim card yet. However, a week ago, a bill was sent to us, regarding a subscription of mobile phone, which should be paid soon. The number stated on the bill is the same number as my prepaid card. As the number ordered from office is also the same operator as my prepaid card and we noticed that the number is longer prepaid, we ASSUMED that maybe the operator noticed that we already have a phone number, so instead of sending us new sim card, they changed the prepaid number into subscribed number. Hence, we decided to pay the bill.

However, yesterday we received another sim card, of which we ordered. Then we noticed we did something wrong, we paid the bill for the subscription we didn't even order. After doing some research, apparently the operator subscribed the prepaid number automatically and sent us email stating that we ordered to subscribe the number into postpaid account. We've never noticed about the email, and yet we already paid for the bill.

Well, after those three cases, I learned a lesson to never assume, especially when you are in a system you barely know how it works. Otherwise you will have to pay unnecessary spending for things you could avoid. Better ask and find information before everything is too late. Thankfully, from the three cases above, only one we really need to pay in order to sort out the problem.

Cheers,
Indispensable Lady

My First Baking Attempt

I've never literally done baking by myself before. Usually I just helped my mother or my little sister who loves baking cakes and cookies, but never really tried to bake alone. When I moved here, I decided I want to start baking in my spare time. Besides that buying cakes is quite expensive in here, I always admire my friends who have passion for baking, where they turn the passion into business. Well, who knows if I might be able to sell my own cakes someday :)

I've searched for the perfect recipe for my first trial, until I found the delicious brownies recipe on this website. I love having a chocolatey brownies, which have moist texture and dry cracked crust on the top and this recipe provides the exact brownies. The recipe is as follows (I've added some additional instruction to make it more precise and the sequence is more suitable for me):

Brownies (25 brownies)

Ingredients:

5 ounces (150 grams) semisweet or bittersweet chocolate chopped

1/2 cup (1 stick) (113 grams) unsalted butter, cut into pieces

2 tablespoons (15 grams) cocoa powder

1 cup (200 grams) granulated white sugar

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

3 large eggs

3/4 cup (95 grams) all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon salt

3/4 cup (125 grams) semi-sweet chocolate chips(optional)

Method:

1. Prepare a square baking pan of 23cm x 23cm, place a baking paper at the bottom of the pan and butter the paper and the side of the pan.
2. Prepare and weigh the ingredients.
3. Preheat oven to 180 degrees C for 15 minutes and place the rack in the center of the oven, use timer for precise timing. Use the top and bottom heat.
4. Melt the chocolate and butter in a stainless steel bowl (or a small saucepan) and placed over a saucepan of simmering water, until smooth.
5. Remove from the heat and stir the cocoa powder and sugar with a whisker (do not use mixer because we don't want the batter too smooth).
6. Next, whisk in the vanilla extract and eggs, one at a time, beating well after each addition.
7. Finally, stir in the flour, salt and chocolate chips (at this stage, the batter is getting thicken, so it's better to use spatula)
8. Pour the batter into prepared pan and bake for about 20-25 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out with a little batter a few moist clumps clinging to it. Do not over bake. Remove from oven and let cool.
9. Cut the brownies with a cake knife into 3x3cm square per pcs. Between each cut, clean the knife with a tissue or paper to get a better cutting result.
10. The brownies is ready to serve.

Here are the picture of my brownies. It tastes as expected, very chocolatey and moist. When it is still hot, the chocolate chip inside the brownies is melted in your mouth. Very yummy!

As it is quite successful, I decided to give it as a present for a friend of mine who will receive confirmation this Sunday and I was asked to be her sponsor. So, this is my brownies gift for her:

Really hope she'll like it :)

Cheers,

Indispensable Lady

28 Weeks and Counting

Yesterday I had my second ultra scanning at the hospital and there are always joy and excitement to see your baby inside your stomach. I bet every mother and pregnant woman cherish those moments like I do. I could see those tiny fingers, tiny toes and even the cute nose and lips. I saw my baby is getting bigger from the last ultra sound check. Thankfully, he's doing okay and the organ works normal according to the midwife.

Normally in Denmark, you only get ultra sound scanning on weeks 13 and 20. However since my first ultra sound scan (in week 25) resulted in the baby's weight is below standard of Danes, they asked me to do another scan. Apparently based on yesterday's scanning, the baby's weight still below standard by 27%. However after consultation with the doctor, he said that it may due to Asian's standard is below than the Denmark's standard. Therefore I don't have to do anything as the graphic shows that the baby's growth is normal. Nonetheless, they need to regularly check my baby's growth, thus I should have another ultra scanning within 2 weeks.

I took the positive side, it means I could have another ultra scan to ensure my baby is in good condition and have early awareness if there is anything wrong with the baby, for example the umbilical cord being around the baby's neck, etc. Since normally here they don't do ultra scanning after 20 weeks, many parents are worry that any problem cannot be detected earlier before birth. While in Indonesia, we have ultra scanning check in every regular visit until before labor. Then, I just be grateful of it.

I noticed several differences between the process of pregnancy check in Denmark and in Indonesia. In here, they do thoroughly check since early pregnancy, such as blood test, urine test, down syndrome risk assessment and TORCH test. While in Indonesia, the test is optional, even not considered necessary by my previous obgyn. I think as a parent, we feel more comfortable if the test is ran since early pregnancy, hence we could be more prepared during the pregnancy, what to avoid and what to consume to support the baby's nutrition.

Moreover, the birth labor here is not conducted by obgyn, but with a midwive and the treatment here is totally different. Having C-section is the latest option, which can only be done if normal birth is appear impossible. Even if your water broke down, you can't directly come to the hospital, they will ask you to wait at home until several hours, unless the water has turned color. Hence, when everything is normal, you come to the hospital only few hours before labor will take place. It sounds scary perhaps for us foreigners, however the relax attitude is pretty common here.

I heard a story from a friend of mine who gave birth last December, she was more than 1 week late from the due date and no action was given by the midwive. Even after she had contraction and she came to the hospital to be checked, the midwive sent her home again as it was only small dilating. She was so stressed about it, which makes the process got worse.

Well, I just wish when it is my time to labor, everything would go smoothly and timely, therefore I won't feel stress out or worry and could enjoy the process of welcoming my baby boy.

Cheers,
Indispensable Lady

I Love My Country, Do You?

I've just read a friend's blog written about a month ago about the chaos in Indonesia, regarding the increase in fuel price. The point he wrote is beyond just the changes in fuel price, but concerning the disappointment of the community towards the government, towards reformation which supposed to be bring Indonesia to somewhere better, but apparently bring less results than expected.

I believe the effect of the disappointment could result in something worse than just a chaos, it will discourage people to believe in the government, in the possibility of the country to develop. I could see on social media how people often complain about the country's condition, the corrupt society and the unreliable house of people's representatives. I'm afraid the situation may create apathetic environment where people turn ignorant over the growth and development of the country. It may also make people more emotional as they see how the rich gets richer using the country's money while the poor gets poorer.

Sometimes it strikes me, as I do have hope for the country to improve. Despite all the negativity, our country still has many aspects to be proud of. It's a relieve to see how the new generations start to make action to build a better Indonesia instead of losing hope and giving up. One of them who actively promoting the nationalism movement is Pandji Pragiwaksono, he encouraged young people to love and have optimism towards our country. In his blog he featured several people who I also feel bring new inspirations to others to change Indonesia into a better place.

As for me, I have the wish to promote peace among Indonesian people, as nowadays people tend to get angry and do destructive things over small stuff. I haven't figured out yet the exact action, but I'm thinking of using photography as a channel of promoting the importance of peace environment, perhaps making a photography book or an exhibition.

Another one, I want to help my surroundings to have a better future by having a proper financial plan in order to be strong financially and in consequence can help the needy. I could say I have contributed a little bit on this one by sharing my financial plan knowledge to my family and friends. Further action is through participating in Indonesia's stock exchange, as by having more local investors, it will create more stable market for Indonesia.

My other vision is to promote Indonesia to the global world in terms of tourism. I know it may still a long way to go, but my husband and I wish that we could be a travel consultant from here to encourage people in Denmark to visit Indonesia and experience the beauty of the country, which in the end, will bring more income to the country.

Yeah I know, they all just small steps and may not impact directly to the development of Indonesia, but that are the things I am willing to do as a form of love for my country.

Cheers,
Indispensable Lady

Newbie in Cooking

Sometimes I realized, the biggest progress I've made since I moved to Copenhagen is cooking skill. Since in Jakarta I rarely cooked and even worse feel so lazy to cook, it is a big transformation having to cook two times a day and amazingly I found it quite exciting. Fortunately, my recipe trial are less likely to fail, so it encourages me to keep trying other new recipes. I was planning to take photos of my cooking results and share the stories in this blog, however I noticed that food gets cold easily in here and my husband and I don't like eating cold dish. Hence, I haven't succeeded in taking photos of my everyday cooking.

However, yesterday I'm trying new recipe of bitterballen and I managed to take photo of it. So here I am, sharing you the recipe and the result. Apparently it didn't taste like the bitterballen I plan to make (back home, my mom often received very delicious bitterballen from our neighbour, it was the first bitterballen I've ever taste, so that was the kind of bitterballen I have in mind), as it was too crunchy on the outside. Nonetheless, it was quite successful and taste good.

The recipe I've found on this website: http://www.ayahbunda.co.id/Artikel/Resep/Keluarga/bitterballen.keju/001/008/349/16/3

But I rewrite it again here in English and put additional notes for the process.

Melted Cheese Bitterballen Recipe

Ingredients:

2 tbsp flour

1 tbsp butter

150 cc milk

100 gr cheese

1 teaspoon granulated white sugar

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 egg

50 gr bread crumb

oil

Method:

1. Heat the butter in a saucepan, add the flour and mix well, you might get lumps, but it's okay.

2. Pour milk slowly while keep stirring, until the batter get thicken.

3. Add salt and sugar, stir until it mix well.

4. Beat the egg on a bowl.

5. Take a tablespoon of batter and fill it with cheese then make a small round ball with your hands. 

6. Dipped the ball into eggs then roll it in the bread crumbs, and then repeat the step once again.

7. Heat the pan and fry the bitterballen until the colors turn gold/brown.

I noticed that it was hard to create a nice round ball before we roll the ball into the breadcrumb as the mixture will stick to your fingers. Apparently to make it easier, you should chill the mixture for about 2 hours until it become solid. However, based on my experience, if you don't have that much time to wait, after you roll it with bread crumb for the first time, you can fix the ball and turn it into a nice round. After that you dip the ball again into the eggs and roll it again in bread crumb.

My tips is do not let your hands touch the ball when you dip it into the eggs as it will make the bread crumb stick to your finger instead of to the ball. So use a spoon to dip the ball then use your hands to roll the ball in the bread crumb. Ow and don't fry them to long as the melted cheese will break the ball if it gets too hot.

Enjoy,

Indispensable Lady

What is Your Financial Goal?

Have you ever think what do you want to have or do in the future? I bet everyone surely does think about it. It can be: having a house, a luxurious car, Euro trip or even as simple as having a big wedding. But have you ever measured your goals in terms of money? Do you know how much money you should save today in order to get enough money to fulfill your future goals?

Financial Goal: A Dream House Facing Beautiful Lake, perhaps? :-p

I have written the first step in financial plan, managing cash flow, in my earlier post: http://indispensablelady.blogspot.com/2012/04/big-spender-vs-big-saver.html. Now let's discuss the next step to build your financial plan: determining financial goal. Without having a clear stated goal, it would be harder for us to save consistently, as we sometimes cheat ourselves, by using the saving for unnecessary spending. Whereas, if we have the goal, we know the risk of not saving: not achieving our goal timely.

Hence, there are few questions to consider when determining financial goal:

1. What are the goals?

2. How much money do you need to achieve the goals?

3. When do you want to achieve the goals?

The basic goals in financial planning are: emergency fund, pension fund, kids education fund and other general goals, such as: house fund, car fund, wedding fund, holiday fund, etc. As we could see, the goals stated above can be classified as short term goal and long term goal. Usually we classified goals that expected to achieve in less than 5 years as short term goals, while over 5 years is long term goals. However, each goal must have different time limit, which you should be determined yourself.

Then how to determine the amount of money of each goals? For emergency fund, the basic assumption is as shown below:

It means, if you are single, then your emergency fund should be at least 4 times of your monthly expenses, if you are married then the amount is bigger, and so on. The amount of monthly expenses can be obtained from your budgeted cash flow. Emergency fund is considered as short term goal, then you should already spare it from your earning since now.

For other type of goals, you need to know how much the current value of each goal and understand the concept of time value of money, where the value of money at the moment is different than the value at the future. Using future value formula, we could calculate how much money you needed at the year you want the goals to be achieved, using the current value. For example: if you want to buy a house which current price is 2,000,000 kroner within 5 years, using assumption of inflation rate of 10%, then the value of the house in the next 5 years is 3,221,020 kroner. Then it will be the amount of your financial goal.

The calculation for pension fund is a little bit more complex. Firstly you have to decide, how much is the lifestyle that you want to protect if assumed you are entering pension period right now. Usually it expressed in percentage of your current monthly expenses, from 80-120% of current monthly expenses. The amount calculated is your monthly pension expenses. Then you determine when you want to start the pension and how many years left from your current age. Using those two aspects, we could calculate the future value of your monthly pension fund. After that you should decide how long is your life expectancy, you could use the average life from elderly in your family. Lastly, you calculate total pension fund you needed to have in order to have a peaceful pension time.

The complicated calculation sometimes overwhelmed people. That's why you needed a financial planner to help you with the calculation :-D Maybe now you are wondering, why do you have to calculate the financial goal? Other than cheating minded as I mentioned earlier, by having the exact number of the financial goals, we could calculate how much money we should save now, either it one time investment or even regular investment. As you must know, the earlier you start to save, the lesser money you should save, which will help you a lot in managing your cash flow, without having to sacrifice a lot in your current lifestyle. Well, that's one of the magical thing of time value of money :-)

Hope this simple articles help you understanding the importance of financial plan better and even better if you would be able to calculate your own financial goals. Even if you couldn't, you could always contact me to create a financial plan for you, of course with a reasonable cost. Let's start planning today for better future :)

Cheers,

Indispensable Lady